The Black Knight Chronicles by John G. Hartness

Author:John G. Hartness
Language: ara
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Urban, Humor, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Horror, Fantasy, General Humor, Paranormal & Urban, Comedy, Genre Fiction, Humor & Satire, Literature & Fiction
ISBN: 1611942012
Publisher: Bell Bridge Books
Published: 2012-09-25T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 16

Apparently Faerieland dragons live just like you’d expect them to—in caves deep in dark forests. Because that’s exactly where Milandra dropped us, right outside a cave in what looked and felt like a deep forest. The ground was carpeted with thick undergrowth, there was moss hanging from the branches and the mouth of a cave gaped hungrily in front of us.

I stood there for a few seconds getting my bearings (or my courage), then took a deep breath and marched resolutely forward . . . only to trip over Sabrina’s outstretched leg and fall flat on my face into a plant that I really hoped wasn’t poison ivy or something with fingers. I have no idea if I can still get poison ivy since I’m dead, but I wasn’t really interested in finding out. I scrambled back to my feet and whirled to face the grinning cop.

“What the hell was that about?” I demanded.

“Do you have a plan, Brainiac?” she asked.

“Yeah. Go in the cave. Kill dragon. Carve out dragon’s heart. Go back to the palace. Get the magic plant from Faerie Queen. Eat another faerie chick. Save your cousin. Make trolls stop beating up gay men in my city. Go home. Drink beer. Did I leave out anything important?”

“Maybe how we’re going to accomplish the whole ‘kill dragon’ step,” she said, looking around us as if trying to find something. “Look at the mouth of that cave. Can anything as big as Milandra described get through that opening?”

I had to admit that it looked pretty small for anything dragon-sized. The cave opening was about ten feet tall and maybe a little wider than that. Certainly not as big as I would expect for a dragon’s lair. “Okay, you’ve got a point. So what’s your plan, General Patton?”

She waved an arm at the forest around us. “We explore the whole area carefully, make sure there isn’t another entrance or escape route for the dragon, and then plan our assault.”

I hate it when she’s right. I hate it even more because she’s always right.

“Okay,” I said. “That does make a lot of sense. Why don’t I go this way, you and Greg go that way, and we’ll meet back here in about thirty minutes to make a plan.”

“Sounds good to me, but why are you going off alone?” she asked.

“It’s not that I’m going off alone, but to be brutally honest, I’m not the most graceful thing in the forest, and neither is Greg. If he and I split up, then anything that hears us will wonder why there are two rampaging elephants rummaging in the forest outside a dragon’s lair. Hopefully the noise will be so distracting that any beasties will decide to leave us alone instead of attacking.”

“Hey!” Greg protested. “I’m stealthy. Like a ninja.” He leaned on the trunk of a tree, which proved to be rotten and toppled over, taking my pudgy vampire ninja to the ground in a crash.

“Yeah, you and Kung Fu Panda, bro.”

I headed off into the forest as quietly as possible, which really wasn’t that quiet.

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